Todays Gray Matters Valuing the Wisdom & Purpose In Aging Well
Having elderly parents is both a joy and a challenge. When they’re living on their own it’s easy to worry about them forgetting things, taking wrong medications, falling. You get the picture. But what about when you think you’ve finally found a safe place for them to live, a place where they’ll have people to look after them? How do you know? Here are a few suggestions:
1. Know what services they’re entitled to receive. Review the paperwork carefully, read the website, and choose an appropriate package that meets their needs.
2. Visit the facility before you finalize arrangements to move your parents in. Look at the bulletin boards and see what activities are available. Eat a meal or two in the dining room and talk with the residents seated near you. Walk the grounds and get a feel for the place.
3. Once your parents are moved in, visit on an irregular schedule. Instead of always going after work, or always going for Sunday dinner, change the day of the week, the time of day, so that the staff doesn’t know when to expect you. The more often you visit and the more irregular the visitation schedule, the better the chance of your loved ones being taken good care of.
Following these suggestions doesn’t guarantee that your loved ones will receive top quality service, but it increases the chances. Unfortunately, I’ve learned from experience that even the supposedly “good” nursing homes don’t always deliver the services that residents are entitled to unless family and friends are present to advocate for the resident.
I would add the following to the items to consider when helping keep a parent safe.
Talk with staff and visitors. What do they say? Are there medical facilities on site, do those doctors have hospital privileges? If no and you do not live close by, call patient relations at the hospital and ask for a patient advocate. I did this for my Mom as the doctors were not calling me and keeping me informed.
Not only should one look at the menu, see if the items on the menu are things your loved one eats on a regular basis. I was visiting my Mom the other night and the main entree was chicken livers, something she doesn’t eat. Ask what alternatives are available in those instances and ask how often the menu changes. While the menu appears extensive, the menu at my Mom’s place repeats itself every month. So, 12 times a year she will be offered chicken livers for dinner.
I would also ask about the amount of detail contained on the bills monthly bills. For example, my Mom’s monthly bill has a flat rate monthly rate for her assisted living apartment. Contained in this bill are medical services which may or may not be a tax deductible expense.
These are good suggestions, Lisa. Thanks.