5 Tips for Spending the Holidays with Elderly Parents

We’re in the middle of the winter holiday season. Retailers are hoping to sell you a lot of things, television is showing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and other Christmas specials, the mailbox is full of catalogs proclaiming holiday deals. It seems there are a lot of things we’re supposed to do: be happy, shop, eat, get together with friends and family, and more. Sometimes it’s just not that easy.

Are you a caregiver for an elderly person? Perhaps you’re elderly yourself and simply not as energetic as you used to be. No matter which of these describes you, here are some tips to help you survive the holidays and maybe even enjoy them.

1. Find within your heart to be grateful for what life gives you. Live from a perspective of gratitude.

2. Be proactive. Instead of just letting things roll along and then reacting to the situation, plan ahead. Do you need to allow extra time for rest? Is there a place available for that rest? Do family traditions need to be modified? What changes need to be made to accommodate physical disability, dietary changes, safety? My parents used to come to my home for Thanksgiving, sleep in the recliners after the meal, go upstairs to use the bathroom. Once I no longer had recliners or a sofa and my parents were no longer able to use stairs, I needed a different Thanksgiving plan. This year my mom had Thanksgiving dinner at her assisted living facility with my sister, and then my family brought homemade pie over for all of us to share. Mom had her apartment with raised toilet seat, grab bars, adjustable bed, and staff. When she was ready to rest, all she had to do was shut her eyes.

3. Does someone in the family bait others with toxic or dysfunctional remarks? Don’t take the bait! Simply let it go by and know that by doing so, you are using your own power rather than giving it up to the one who likes to stir up trouble. Remain silent or steer conversation in a positive direction.

4. Reminisce together. Review the good times in your lives, laugh a lot, choose to enjoy this time together. Perhaps bring out old photos to refresh your memories and provide inspiration.

5. Holidays may be the perfect opportunity to assess older relatives’ ability to live on their own. Check out the Holiday Spy Kit by Paula Spencer Scott at http://bit.ly/IP6AV7.